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Fun Things to Do at Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all alarm clock to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; try to see how many people you can get to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all of the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other shoppers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on all the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When people are behind you, walk REALLY SLOW; especially while in thin, narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "There is a Code 4 in Housewares, son. You know what you have to do."

11. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.

12. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

13. In the automotive department practice your 'Madonna" look using various funnels.

14. Two words: "Marco Polo"

15. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

16. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

17. Pay off Lay away fifty cents at a time.

18. Dart around suspiciously humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible".

19. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"

20. Re-alphabetize the CDs in Electronics.

21. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

22. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in pet food aisle, etc.

23. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

24. Set up a 'Valet Parking' sign in front of the store.

25. Drag a lounge chir over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink. Explain that you don't get out much and ask them if they can put a little umbrella in it.

26. Tune all the radios stations to a Polka station, then turn them off and increase the volume to 'max'.

27. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loudly enough for everyone to hear, "Who BUYS this crap anyway?"

28. Repeat number 27 in Jewelry Department.

29. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in forever..." etc.See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.

30. Play with the automatic doors.

31. Ride a display bicycle through the store. Claim you're taking it for a 'test drive.'

32. Ask other shoppers if they have any Grey Poupon.

33. Test the fishing rods to see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.

34. TP as much of the store as possible.

35. Put M&Ms on Law away.

36. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed & Bath.

37. Randomly throw things into neighboring aisles.

38. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

39. Play with all of the calculators so they say 'hello' upside down.

40. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I am Batman! Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"

41. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do so until they leave the department or you are escorted out by security.

42. Play soccer with a group of friends using the entire store as your playing field.

43. Move "Caution:Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

44. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling, "Red Rover!"

45. Take up an entire aisle by setting up a full scale battle between GI Joes and the X-Men.

46. Take bets on the above battle.

47. Nonchalantly 'test' the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

48. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if they have any in stock, e.g. "Do you have any Shnerples here?"

49. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

50. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, Ooooh, magic!"

**Bonus- Try to do them all in one visit - **