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101 Easy Ways to Say "No"

I壇 Love to but...
I have to floss my cat.
I have dedicated my life to linguini.
I want to spend more time with my blender.
The president said he might drop in.
The man on television told me to stay tuned.
I致e been scheduled for a Karma transplant.
I知 staying at home to work on my cottage Cheese sculpture.
It痴 my parakeet痴 bowling night.
It wouldn稚 be fair to the other beautiful people.
I知 building a pig from a kit.
I did my own thing and now I致e got to undo it.
I知 enrolled in aerobic scream therapy
There痴 a disturbance in the force.
I知 going door to door, collecting static cling.
I have to go to the Post Office to see if I知 still wanted.
I知 teaching my ferret to yodel.
I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
I知 going through a Cherry Cheesecake withdrawal.
I知 planning to go down town to try on gloves.
My crayons all melted together.
I知 trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
I知 training to be a household pest.
I知 getting my overalls overhauled.
My patent is pending.
I知 attending the opening of my garage door.
I知 sandblasting my oven.
I知 worried about my vertical hold.
I知 going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
I知 being deported.
I致e just picked up a book called "Glue In Many Lands" and I can稚 put it down.
I値l be looking for a parking space.
My Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then.
The monsters haven稚 turned blue yet and I have to eat more dots.
I知 taking punk totem pole carving.
I have to fluff my shower cap.
I知 converting my calendar watch from Julian to Georgian.
I致e come down with a really horrible case of something or other.
I have made an appointment with my cuticle specialist.
My plot to take over the world is thickening.
I have to fulfil my potential.
I don稚 want to leave my comfort zone.
It痴 too close to the turn of the century.
I have some real hard words to look up in the Dictionary.
My sub-conscious says no.
I知 giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.
I left my body in my other clothes.
The last time I went I never came back.
I致e got friends of Rutab.
I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.
None of my socks match.
I have to sit up with a sick ant.
I知 trying to cut down.
I致e been traded to Cincinnati.
I知 observing national apathy week.
I have to rotate my crops.
My uncle escaped again.
I知 up to my elbows in waxy build-up.
I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.
I知 having my baby shoes bronzed.
I have to go to court for kitty littering.
I知 going to count the bristles on my toothbrush.
I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
Having fun gives me prickly heat.
I知 going to the missing persons bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.
I have to jog my memory.
My palm reader advised against it.
My dress for obscurity class meets then.
I have to stay home to see if I snore.
I prefer to remain an enigma.
I think you want the other (your name).
I have to be on the next train to Bermuda.
I知 having my plants neutered.
People are blaming me for the Spanish-American war.
I changed the lock on my door and now I can稚 get out.
I知 making a film called "The Thing That Grew in my Refrigerator".
I知 attending a perfume convention as Guest Sniffer.
My Yucca plant is feeling yucky.
I知 touring China with a Wok Band.
My Chocolate-Appreciation class meets that night.
I never go out on days that end in a "Y".
My mother would never let me here the end of it.
I知 running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student called Basil Metabolism.
The Grunion are running.
I知 too old/young for that stuff.
I have to wash/condition/perm/curl/tease/torment my hair.
I have too much guilt.
There are important world issues that need worrying about.
I have to draw Cubby for an art scholarship.
I知 uncomfortable when I知 alone or with others.
I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
I feel a song coming on.
I知 trying to be less popular.
My bathroom tiles need grouting.
I have to bleach my hare.
I知 waiting to see if I知 already a winner.
I知 writing a love letter to Richard Simmonds.
You know how we psychos are.
My favourite commercial is on T.V.
I have to study for a blood test.
I知 going to be old some day.
Well maybe.