Medical Bloopers
By the
time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling
better.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for
over a year.
On the second day the knee was better and on the
third day it had completely disappeared.
She has had no rigors
or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last
night.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began
seeing me in 1993.
Patient was released to outpatient
department without dressing.
I have suggested that he loosen
his pants before standing, and then, he stands with the help of his wife,
they should fall to the floor.
The patient is tearful and
crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
Discharge
status: Alive but without permission.
The patient will need
disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Smith to dispose of
him.
Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally
alert but forgetful.
The patient refused an
autopsy.
The patient has no past history of
suicides.
The patient expired on the floor
uneventfully.
Patient has left his white blood cells at another
hospital.
The patient's past medical history has been
remarkably insignificant
with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past
three days.
She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went
in separate directions in early December.
The patient
experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with picture of
acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually
deteriorated in the emergency room.
The patient had waffles for
breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
Since she can't get pregnant
with her husband, I thought you would like to work her
up.
Skin: somewhat pale but present.
Admitted in
error.
Patient was seen in consultation by Dr Jones, who felt
that we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
Large brown
stool ambulating in the hall.
Patient has two teenage children
but no other abnormalities.