Actual Headlines
"Something Went Wrong
In Jet Crash, Expert Says"
"Police Begin Campaign To Run Down
Jaywalkers"
"2 sisters reunited after 18 years in checkout
counter"
"Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case"
"Farmer
Bill Dies In House"
"Iraqi Head Seeks Arms"
"Survivor Of
Siamese Twins Joins Parents"
"Is There A Ring Of Debris Around
Uranus?"
"Prostitutes Appeal To Pope"
"Panda Mating Fails;
Veterinarian Takes Over"
"Eye Drops Off Shelf"
"Teachers
Strike Idle Kids"
"Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim"
"Killer
Sentenced To Die For Second Time In 10 Years"
"War Dims Hope For
Peace"
"If Strike Is not Settled Quickly, It May Last A
While"
"Judge to rule on nude beach"
"Cold Wave Linked To
Cold Temperatures"
"Drunken drivers paid $1000 in
'84"
"Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect
Homicide"
"Police discover crack in Australia"
"Dealers will
hear car talk Friday at noon"
"Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery,
Hundreds Dead"
"Women's movement called more
broad-based"
"Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery
Charge"
"New Study For Obesity Looks For Larger Test
Group"
"Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Space"
"Kids Make
Nutritious Snack"
"Lansing Residents Can Drop Off
Trees"
"Local High School Drop Outs Cut In Half"
"New
Vaccine May Contain Rabies"
"Never withhold herpes infection from
loved one"
"Man shoots neighbor with machete"
"Man clings to
life after fatal blast"
"Economist uses theory to explain
economy"
"Bible church's focus is the Bible"
"Blind woman
gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years"
"Death causes
loneliness, feelings of isolation"
"Complaints about NHL referees
growing ugly"
"Man Minus Ear Waves Hearing"
"Grandmother of
eight makes hole in one"
"Clock Thief Faces
Time"
"Prosecutor Releases Probe Into Sheriff"
"Bank
Drive-In Window Blocked By Board"
"Hospitals Are Sued By 7 Foot
Doctors"
"Sex Education Delayed; Teachers Request
Training"
"Include Your Children When Baking
Cookies"
"Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax"
"Two convicts
evade noose; jury hung"
"Miners Refuse to Work After
Death"
"Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant"
"Stolen
Painting Found by Tree"
"Two Soviet Ships Collide, One
Dies"
"Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge"
"British Union Finds
Dwarves in Short Supply"
"Old School Pillars Are Replaced by
Alumni"
"Lack of brains hinders
research"