Fun Things to Do in an Elevator
1. Make
race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and
offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
3.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up,
dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes
of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout
cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural
frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your
briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in
there?"
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator.
Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the
corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at
your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed
when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger
and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on
the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you
Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor,
hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny
you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi
exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while,
and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
18. When at least 8
people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion
sickness!"
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20.
Meow occasionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a
quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go"
then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and
ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while
continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the
elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head"
on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then
announce,"You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the
elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave
a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you
can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and
talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a
sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask
"is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow
box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the
button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red
buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to
the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
41. Bring
a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another
passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit
bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host
body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray
Specs" and leer suggestively at the passengers.
49. Stare at your
thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes
against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
51. Bring a water
pistol. Soak everyone's shoes.
52. Start brushing off invisible
bugs from your arms, screaming "Aaughh! Get them off!"
53.
Challenge your neighbor to a "Tic-Tac-Toe" tournament.
54. Laugh
hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other passengers
like they are crazy.
55. Charge into the elevator dripping wet,
holding a towel and wearing only a bathrobe. Mutter something about how
husbands/wives always come home early just when it's getting to the good
part.
56. Make chalk drawings on the walls.
57. As the
elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting "Down! I said
down, dammit!"
58. Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at
everyone who gets on.
59. Try to get a game of "Twister" going.
60. Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your
neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step
away.