More Fun Things to do While Driving
1. Vary
your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
2. Roll down your
windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.
3. At stop lights, eye
the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.
4. Two words: Chicken suit.
5. Write the words "Help me" on your back
window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better. 6. Have
conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
7. Laugh a lot. A whole lot.
8. Stop at the green lights.
9. Go at
the red ones.
10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out
your window
or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
11. Eat food that
requires silverware.
12. Pass cars, then drive very slowly.
13. Sing
without having the radio on.
14. Honk frequently without motivation.
15.
Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene
gesture.
16. Ask people for Grey Poupon.
17. Let pedestrians know who's
boss.
18. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
19.
Restart your car at every stop light.
20. Hang numerous car-fresheners in
the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.
21. Lob burning
things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window.
22.
Keep at least five cats in the car.
23. Root (cheer, not snuffle in the mud)
for firetrucks.
27. Stop and collect roadkill.
28. Stop and pray to
roadkill.
29. Throw Spam.
30. Get in the fast lane and gradually ...
slow ... down ... to a stop. Then get out and watch the cars. Throw Spam at
them.