Funny Bumper Stickers

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.

"More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control.

I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.